Martha Took My MOJO or How I Was Emasculated by Martha Stewart – Part 2
We eventually were seated and watched the show unfold. Justin Long (the MAC guy) was the big name guest. When he walked out, all hearts skipped a beat because he was so cute. Well, all but mine that is. Did we get to taste the Cajun pasta and lobster they cooked up in Martha’s perfect pretend kitchen? Not a chance.
The woman that made the Balls N Nylons necklace showed us how easy it was to make them. But the best part was when we went to collect our goodies. We got the book from the Balls N Nylon chick and the wonderful canvas tote from the generous folks at J.Crew. And what was inside the tote? Hold onto your hats kids; a single, lonely, bottle of J.Crew watermelon nail polish. Watermelon is so not my shade, for sure.
We left the Martha studios but had one stop to make. That stop would put the final nail in the coffin of my masculinity. For anyone that has ever seen the popular TV show, Project Runway, Mood Designer Fabrics should ring a bell. Mood is the de facto supplier of fabric and trim to the designer contestants on the show. Since we were so close by, Sara wanted to make the pilgrimage to the Mecca of the fabric world.
Sara and I trekked the 12 blocks up town, up the rickety old elevator, complete with the equally rickety old elevator operator, to the third floor. Out we spill and there it was: MOOD. Angels sang, harps played sweet music, doves flew. Sara, I thought, was going to cry. Me, I was ready to die.
I was forced to sit at a table near the door within the first five minutes. Not by the very nice guy at the front entrance. Sara made me go sit there because I was imitating the homosexual “chaperone” of the designers on Project Runway, Tim Gunn. Actually, I do a pretty good Tim Gunn impression, however, it was embarrassing Sara to no end. So I was banished.
My time at the front door allowed me to see the parade of different types of people that frequent Mood. Students from the nearby Fashion Institute of Technology and the Parsons New School of Design, Orthodox Jewish ladies, professional garment industry people and tourists followed each other through the door.
According to Don, the front door guy, they get between 7,500 and 8,000 people crossing their threshold on an average day. He told me business took off after Tim G and the Project Runway people starting running amok among the miles and miles of fabric. I know I heard voices of a few other tourist husbands imitating Tim Gunn from, arising from deep within the bowels of the fabric racks. Poor souls.
I was now completely emasculated.