Martha Took My Mojo or How I Was Emasculated by Martha Stewart – Part 3
The Backup Plan
The good news was, I had a backup plan, just in case. There was concern on my part, before we left for NYC, that I might find myself in this condition. My plan was to drive to Newburgh, NY that evening and stay overnight in a motel.
So as Sara helped my testosterone deprived body get into the car for the drive to Newburgh, I still held out the belief there was hope for me yet. In fact, with every mile we drove, I felt my manliness start to return. Slowly, slowly, I was regaining my inner strength.
At this point, you might be wondering why, of all places, I targeted the sleepy town of Newburgh as the source for my rejuvenation? Three simple words: Orange County Choppers.
What better place to go after the emasculation festival that was the Martha Stewart Show than the Manly Capital of the world? They are the stars of American Chopper on the TLC network and make the coolest custom choppers on the planet.
After our stay that night in the motel, during which I watched a lot of ESPN, we headed out to the OCC shop the next morning. We looked at all the hot bikes they had on display and the great merchandise that would make any man proud.
We walked out of the store with souvenirs. I carefully placed my Paul Jr. BobbleHead into the luggage area, right next to the OCC t-shirt, poster, playing cards and draw-string tote bag.
By the time we returned to Rochester, NY after the drive, I was invigorated. I felt like hunting something, even though I don’t hunt. I wanted to put on my Harley-Davidson leathers and hit the road with my biker bitch, Sara. I felt like Chuck, friggin, Norris!
Of course, I don’t have Harley leathers or a motorcycle. And Sara is not a biker bitch. But I do have my OCC draw string tote. You can keep your canvas tote bag and watermelon nail polish J.CREW! I FEEL FANTASTIC.